To get a second chance with your ex you need to understand why they left. In many cases, it will be because your ex was no longer prepared or able to tolerate certain behaviours.

If this is reflected in your parting, you need to accept it. You have to determine the particular behaviors and stay away from them, forever and in reality. Verbal promises from my ex stating “I’ve changed” is a superficial show and not enough to take hime back.

First of all, your ex is not going to believe you. Nobody makes significant changes very quickly, they take time. If you’re going to get your ex to thinking about making a second go of it, you’ve got to convince him or her that you really have changed for good.

You must give your ex concrete evidence showing that you’re trying your hardest to make changes in yourself and to become a better partner in your relationship. For instance, reading books, researching for help online, taking classes or even therapy. You will only be able to do this if you are actually putting forth a concerted attempt to make a difference. You’ll be happy to do this, if you’re serious about wanting your ex back.

For another, if you somehow manage to get a second chance through the mere appearance of change it will not be enough to keep you together. When the same old problems rear their ugly head again and you can be sure they will your ex will leave again. They will feel tricked, betrayed and foolish. Again, you’ll be saying, “I want my ex back.” But you had your chance and blew it.

Other than a chance to get your ex back, and to really make a change, there is a 3rd reason: Do it for yourself. The problems with your ex are rooted in emotions and behaviors that probably affect other parts of your life. For example, the feeling of being jealous has origins in feelings of poor self-esteem as well as insecurity, resulting, not so obviously, in trouble on your job or in your relations with friends and family.

By putting your own emotional needs first, you will end being a healthier and happier person, which will help you attract the right kind of person, someone who is far more likely to get a second chance with their ex, and get them back for keeps. Because these efforts aren’t simply part of a scheme to get another chance, your ex will have more respect for you and the lengths that you are going to.

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