After breaking up, some individuals may stop doing things that remind them of the other person, such as listening to a particular type of music or a certain song because it reminds them of their former lover. Additionally, other things may trigger the memory of the argument that caused the break-up, leaving that individual to “stew in their own juices”.

Most break-ups are caused by one party feeling left out, used, or neglected. If an individual feels neglected, these thoughts eat at this person and he or she will become deeply depressed. This depression builds in that person’s mind for a period of time until they go into a rage, in which the slightest disagreement will eventually cause the relationship to implode.

Regardless of who may have caused the break-up of the relationship, if both individuals want to be with each other, the relationship can be saved. There are things you can do, given the fact that you both still love each other, to win back your lover. As with all things, however, this does require work. You should first give your ex time to cool off.

Continuously calling this person will not make things better; in fact, it could make the situation worse. Just because your ex isn’t answering the phone doesn’t mean that he or she does not want to make up. Maybe your ex isn’t answering the phone because he or she is still angry with you. Maybe he or she isn’t answering the phone because they want to see how desperate you will become. No matter what the reason, refrain from continuously calling them. This could make a bad situation even worse. Not only is this an example of desperation, but it is also a symptom of obsession. Continuously calling your ex is a form of stalking and could result in big trouble for you, especially if your ex is actually still angry with you. Also, don’t drive by your ex’s residence or check on them. Not only will this individual feel that you do not trust them, but, again, this is a form of stalking and could result in prosecution.

Secondly, ask yourself if this relationship is actually worth saving. Be completely honest with yourself! We, as humans, are sometimes in a state of denial. Did the two of you argue continuously, or, for the most part, was the relationship harmonious? If the two of you tended to bicker quite a bit, would one person be willing to compromise in order to stop the arguments? Do you actually have the time necessary to invest in a relationship, or do you have too many responsibilities, such as working long hours. You don’t want to be constantly accused of cheating when you were actually at work. These are just some of the things you need to consider prior to reestablishing your relationship.

When trying to get your lover back, don’t make the mistake of spying on them; they will think that you don’t trust them, which can make matters even worse than they are currently.

While in a confused, emotional state such as can follow a breakup, it’s tempting to take these steps which can aggravate the problem. Instead, take a deep breath and approach the matter calmly. When you are both ready to talk, try not to discuss the breakup - however, if you must say anything, put yourself at an advantage by saying it may have been a good idea.

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