If your wife has a chronic illness, chances are romance is the last thing on her mind. Too often illness creates physical pain, weight gain or loss, bloating and even feeling less than a woman if she’s had to give up everything from her career to her lingerie.

Be assured that you are not alone. Nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA live with a chronic illness and so many marriages are impacted. Unfortunately, nearly seventy-five percent of them end in divorce when an illness is that “third party” in the marriage.

So! Can you get the spark back? Yes! Here are some creative romantic gift ideas and ways to say, “I love you.”

Chocolate. Yes, it really can be that simple. But buy her some sugar-free chocolate that she can splurge on without the guilt. It’s amazing how good it tastes! Chocolate has a chemical called phenyl ethylamine that actually produces the feeling of “being in love.” Check out your local Wal-Mart or Target for their Russell Stover’s chocolates that come in bags. Coconut, caramels, and pecans hmmmm you get the idea.

Women with a chronic illness are the same as most women. They want their man to hold their hand. Give affection generously, but also carefully to not cause more pain. Rub her back, call her a pet name you haven’t used in five years, and don’t pressure her for more. Cuddle, snuggle, and cuddle some more like you will never let her go.

Tell her all the things you love about her: how strong she is, how much you admire her strength in coping with illness, how you’re sticking around no matter what. Who needs romantic poetry? Speak from the heart!

Give her an indulgence of something she wouldn’t buy herself, especially something to lighten up her mood on days when she isn’t feeling well. Get her the DVD her favorite movie from high school, or a cozy new down comforter for her bed.

Give her a getaway. In short, take the kids out of the house an entire day and don’t say anything when you come home at 4 p.m. and she’s still in her pajamas.

Write little notes that she can find any time. And don’t forget to say thanks too! For example, if she does laundry, put a note in your own sock drawer to find when she puts them away that says, “I know laundry isn’t easy for you to do. Every time I find clean socks here I am reminded how much you love me and how blessed I am.”

Looking for a romantic dinner idea for staying home? Buy a fondue pot and commit to dipping something in it during candlelight one evening a week while you talk about the week.

Are you having troubles starting up some romantic conversations? Buy a book about conversation starters or fill a jar with topics. Do a search online for “romantic conversation starters.”

Let her know that you know atmosphere is important. Send her in to take a bath and light some of the new flameless candles (you can go to sleep without worry). Make up a play list of her favorite romantic songs on your ipod. Get goofy and throw some rose petals around and see how she responds.

There is no perfect way to romance your wife because every woman is different and needing different things. So communication is the key. Ask, “What are your biggest concerns right now? How can I help you feel more loved?”

When you make an effort to increase the romance in the relationship, chances are she will notice and appreciate the effort so much you may not get a chance to finish that book on romancing your wife, because she may be ready for some romance. And don’t forget, doing the dishes or the laundry can be the best way to your wife’s heart.

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