Breakups are one of the most devastating experiences a person can have, and it is only a rare few who don’t have to endure at least one breakup in their life. Sometimes the reasons behind a breakup are obvious and unavoidable, but at other times it might not be so clear. Maybe he left because he wasn’t sure where the relationship was headed, or maybe you left him because you thought something was lacking, only to realize as time passed that you made a huge mistake and he truly was your ideal man.

Don’t feel completely hopeless though, since there are definitely things you can do to get him back! Your first step should be trying to understand exactly why he left you in the first place. If you don’t know why he left, then you won’t be able to plan how to get him back. If the reason was serious, like somebody being controlling, possessive, abusive, or a cheat, you may want to think long and hard if you really want him back.

Then think about what attracted him to you originally. If this initial appeal no longer is part of who you are, that could be why he broke up with you. Consider what you’ve changed about yourself, and whether these changes have been for the best. Remember that the perfect partner doesn’t have to accept or be comfortable with every aspect of who you are. You may be able to think of something you can’t fully accept about him too.

Try reminding him of your best memories together. This could make him realize what he’ll be missing in the future without you. Wear the clothes that he especially loved to see you in, and make sure he sees you in them. All of this will show him that there was plenty of good in the relationship, so it’s possible to work through the bad.

Be forthcoming with your feelings, too. Let him know how bad you feel that things didn’t work out, and that you’d try your best if given another chance. This is not the time for playing games - a guy in his position will appreciate honesty more than anything else. Give him room to say his opinions about what went wrong in the relationship and whether he thinks the problem can be fixed.

These are great steps towards getting him back. Understand that it’s not guaranteed, since you may not be able to change the way he feels. If he doesn’t feel the same way as he once did, you don’t want to be back with him anyways. Don’t try to force the relationship, or you may push him away as a friend too. On the other hand, if he starts the relationship again and begins to take advantage of you, end it immediately.

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